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“Confessions of a Matchmaker”, on the cable TV network ,A&E is one of my new guilty pleasures. Buffalo, New York is the setting for the reality show which follows matchmaker, Patti Novak, as she coaches her clients through the dating game. We see Patti as she meets clients in her office, then we get to see the clients out on the date with the person she chose for them. Most of the “looking-for-love” reality shows are filled with wannabe-actor types posturing for their 15 minutes of fame, if they’re lucky. But Patti’s clients in Buffalo are as far, far away from being an LA bound contestant on “The Bachelor” or “The Age of Love” as it can get. If these lonely hearts could make it as a contestant on one of those shows, they wouldn’t need her help.

Getting people a date is only the first part of Patti’s job. The biggest part is coaching her clients on being comfortable in a one-on-one social setting. Most of that entails being able to coax people to be confident enough to engage in a good conversation.

Independent retailers are never without an opportunity to engage in a conversation. The most important connection is with our customer and if we are successful conversationalist than it is reasonable to believe that you may turn out to be a good salesperson.

Some indie retailers they may find the one-on-one contact with the customers to be as nerve-racking and intimidating as a first date. If you know the art of conversation than you can speak to anyone, whatever the circumstance.

I found an interesting website Conversation Matters, hosted by Loren Eskoth. There are many articles on how to approach people, how to speak, what to do, and so onLearning how to listen is one of the most important topics that Eskoth’s website covers and which many of us need to review. Entrepreneurs can have big egos who can speak forever about themselves and their journey in business. As in dating, you don’t need to go on and on about yourself. An important part of being a good conversationalist is learning to listen to the other person, and catch verbal cues to continue a conversation. It’s impossible to assess anything accurately without any data or facts. If you talk over your customers they may not want that second date as a return customer. And if we are good retailers, than we never have to pick up the tab.